a special kind of blue
by PonyRawr
Summary: Jared invited Shane, a kid he barely even knows, on a week-long excursion on the coast of Japan. There's no chance this ends well. (Takes place one year Pre-Asagao. Shane is a second year, Jared is a third year.)


**MEET MY BABY!**

 **I've been working on this since June 9, so almost tWO MOTNHS. It started as a random ship selection, then I kinda sorta got invested in ProShane and here we are. It's waywayWAY longer than I'd planned, but I kept getting inspired to add new scenes for character development.**

 **A few notes:**  
 **\- The characters are a mix of their Asagao personas and the actual people. Jared is more humble while Shane is more sarcastic and brash than tsun.**  
 **\- I'm by no means a professional writer, but I put a lot of effort into this, and I think it's way higher quality than my other Asagao work 'Glorified'. If you're a reader from there, hello! I plan on coming back to 'Glorified' shortly, perhaps redoing a lot of the chapters with inconsistencies or that I don't think are very high quality.**  
 **\- please dont show them please i swear to god**  
 **\- Shane is based upon a lot of my mental disorders and issues, which I think is fair since I'm actually a very similar person to Asagao!Shane. The big one is Sensory Hyperawareness, a side affect of my anxiety and disassociation disorders, which I think is underrepresented in characters.**  
 **\- Jared is the definition of Stressed in this fic im so sorry father**  
 **-i meant it dont send this to my dads**

 **I hope you guys enjoy this! I know Asagao is kinda (very) dead atm, but I think the new NB channel might bring some of y'all back! (please come back) Love y'all 3**

" _No_ ," Shane sighed, pressing his forehead to the surface of his desk. His phone was pressed to his ear, a static hiss on the other side.

"Please? You're the only one left who's free this vacation! And I have a room with _two beds_! It'd be a waste of money!" Jared pleaded, the faint sound of him pacing on the other side of the line. Shane had been going back and forth with him for at _least_ ten minutes at this point.

"I don't see why that's such a big problem for you," Shane sat up. "Aren't you like, loaded?" He glanced over at Jirard with an eye roll, to which his roommate just raised his eyebrows with a smirk.

Jared audibly sighed, and Shane could vividly see Jared throw his hair back in defeat. "Shane, please. I just…" the boy trailed off, the pacing coming to a stop. "We have two completely different schedules most of the time. We've only ever hung out in the group. I barely even _know you_ -"

"Which is why I don't see why you want me to tag along."

"Shane, look. I honestly just don't want to spend this vacation by myself again," Jared went silent, obviously waiting for Shane to speak up. He didn't. "If you tag along, I'll get a room with a good view for your art project."

Shane raised his eyebrows and made a small noise.

"There it is," Jared said, his bed springs squeaking as he sat. "I've heard there's a lot of good scenery, and I know you have to fill a sketchbook with backgrounds, so… this sounds like a good chance, don't you think?"

With a huff, Shane stood. "Fine, whatever, I'll tag along on your little field trip. _But…_ "

"But?"

"You have to get the best view they have."

He could practically hear Jared's smile. "You've got it! And ah," Jared's voice lowered, "thanks. I appreciate it."

Shane blew air from his nose. "Just come get me tomorrow morning."

"You've got it, baby, 8 am sharp," Jared faintly chuckled, Shane shifting his feet. "Thanks again."

"Bye," Shane grunted, hanging up his phone and throwing it haphazardly onto his chair. Jirard watched him as he dramatically flopped back-first onto his bed, clutching his pillow from behind his head. "Am I allowed to cancel two minutes after accepting?"

"Come on, Shane, it sounds like you two will have fun!" his roommate beamed, a suitcase already packed and waiting at the foot of his bed. "I mean, isn't _anything_ better than just-" he gestured both of his arms in Shane's direction. "-doing _this_ all week?"

The British boy sighed. "I barely even know where we're going."

"Well, you should start packing! You've only got 11 hours until you leave!" Jirard stood, looming over Shane with his hands on his hips. "Plus, you could use a shower…"

Shane pulled his pillow over his ears and rolled over.

This was gonna be a _disaster_.

Jared showed up at Shane's room at 8:05, wearing a large t-shirt and shorts. It was… _different_ than what Shane was used to.

"You're late," Shane teased, shifting the handle of his suitcase under his hand. Jirard had helped him pack late the night before, and had left silently early that morning, long before Shane reluctantly rolled out of bed.

Jared rolled his eyes, shaking his hair a bit. He seemed drained. "Well sorry, princess, I was a bit busy calling to change our room," Jared said with a small smile, digging into the side of the backpack he was wearing. He placed a ticket into Shane's open hand. "We should get going. It's a long train ride, so I want a good seat."

Shane nodded, pulling a key from his pocket, replacing it with his ticket. He turned, locking the door behind him, and followed closely behind Jared down the hall.

The other boy turned around when they reached the stairs, offering a hand to carry Shane's bag.

Shane hauled it into his own hands with a _hmph_.

Once they got outside, Jared fell into stride next to him, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. It was only then that Shane realized how _little_ Jared had packed.

"Uh, where's all your stuff?" Shane nodded to Jared's empty hands.

Jared raised an eyebrow and pointed to his backpack. "It's right here?" he said, confused by Shane's questioning. "I don't need that much where we're going."

Shane just looked forward with a shrug.

They made it to the station with some time to spare, giving Jared some time to explain exactly where they were going.

"There's this scenic beach on the coast. My mom took me there once. It's a huge tourist trap for Americans, I think, since there were a lot of them there when I visited. It's a nice place," Jared said, making small gestures with his hands as he spoke. He made a quiet chuckle under his breath. "I did a photoshoot here, actually," he glanced over at Shane, a teasing smile causing deep smile lines in his face. "Wanna see?"

Shane pursed his lips. "No," he replied, turning away towards the sound of an oncoming train. He heard Jared chuckle faintly behind him before the boy stood, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. He seemed to have shaken out of the drowsy haze from before, combing his fingers gently through his hair as he nodded his head for Shane to follow.

Shane let him walk a few paces before heaving to his feet.

Jared barely even noticed.

After what felt like forever, the train finally stopped.

Shane had his body pinned against the side closest to the window. Jared was next to him, deeply enthralled with a newspaper he'd picked up at the station. Shane didn't have much to do, seeing that his luggage was all stored over him with all of his belongings, so he spent most of the time looking out the window, trying to fall asleep (and failing), or reading over Jared's shoulder.

About halfway through the ride, Jared noticed him reading, and had shifted the paper a bit so Shane could see. Shane just read the comics and looked away.

He was also fascinated by another girl their age sat on the opposite seat from him, who seemed to have spent the whole ride chugging water and reading a book about horses. She repeatedly tapped her boot's heel on the ground with a _click, click, click_ , perfectly in time with the train's methodical _kathunk, kathunk, kathunk_.

Shane would have used his phone more, but as soon as he turned it on he realized he had nothing to do, and immediately shut it off again.

Jared stood up before him, pulling both of their bags down and closing the small hatch. Horse Girl jolted up, rushing out of the train with bag in hand, her boots going _click._

 _Click._

 _Click._

"Shane?" Jared waved his hand in front of his friend's face, snapping Shane into attention. "Are you tired?"

Shane shoved Jared's arm down as he stood up, grabbing his suitcase hastily. "I'm fine, let's go."

"Okay, if you say so," Jared shrugged, leaning down for his bag. Shane walked ahead of him, leading the pair all the way out of the station. Jared had been messing with his phone the whole walk, and once outside, Shane glanced over to see Jared irately trying to find directions. "It's a… short walk but I- gah come _on_ -"

"Is it that one?" Shane asked, pointing Jared's attention to a sign posted nearby. Sure enough, as soon as Jared saw the words, he nodded with a sigh as he shoved his phone back into his bag.

 _Kuchinashi Hotel_.

Jared nodded for Shane to follow, obviously annoyed and/or ready to set his stuff down. Shane let him lead close in front of him.

Asagao had some kuchinashi in their gardens, something he remembered from Mr. Patrick's excessive, _excessive_ directions when Shane took up as student gardener. He enjoyed spending his mornings among the flowers, giving him a quiet retreat before having to deal with _those two_ all day.

Jon and PBG had good- no, great- intentions. They'd invited him to their club after Shane had responded to a request from Jon for a new club logo for their jackets. He was… relatively close to the two, but he found his real friend in Jirard, his roommate. In fact, without Jirard telling Jon about him, he never would have joined in the first place.

He really only cared about Jirard.

…

Why the _fuck_ was he here with _Jared_?

"I specifically called in and _paid extra_ for a two-room view," Jared waved his hands dramatically towards the sky, not getting any reaction from the small lady behind the desk.

"I'm telling you, sir, it was the only style of room available on the floor you requested. We even gave you one with a pullout sofa," she repeated, Jared looking about 2 words away from slamming his head into the counter. "If you'd like, I can bump you down a floor for-"

" _For a fee_ , yes I understand," Jared sighed. He glanced back at Shane, who was, at the time, sitting on a chair in the waiting room, patiently watching over his phone. After a brief pause, Jared turned back, "The pullout is fine."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

"Have a nice stay you two," she said, already moving on to the next couple waiting in line. Jared wallowed over to Shane his eyes trailing the floor.

Shane blinked at him slowly.

"Don't worry, I'll sleep on the pullout," Jared rubbed his eyes, holding out his hand for Shane to pull himself up. It remained floating there for a moment after Shane stood up by himself, before falling defeated to his side. "Here," he mumbled, tapping Shane's arm with the key. "Can you unlock it?"

Shane hummed, grabbing the key and tugging his bag along behind him. He made it to the elevator, glancing behind him to see Jared still standing next to the chair he'd been in moments before. "Jared."

He didn't respond. Jared's backpack was falling off one of his shoulders, dragging his body dangerously to one side. Shane walked back with a huff, grabbing the handle of Jared's bag and lifting it off his shoulders.

"Jared. Let's go," Shane murmured, tugging Jared's shoulder to face him. The boy's face was pale and tired, but he blinked up to look at Shane before reaching for his backpack. Shane holds it out of reach. "You're about to fall over, and I'm _not_ about to deal with you complaining about a bruise on your face all week." Shane responded, turning away while swinging Jared's backpack onto one arm. "Let's go."

Jared just nodded, shuffling behind him into the elevator. His head lolled as he attempted to wipe his eyes from his haze, muttering seemingly to himself. After a moment, however, he glanced up at Shane for a response.

"What?"

Jared frowned, rubbing his cheek before speaking up slightly. "How are you so awake?" he muttered, gripping the arm rail.

"I don't know," Shane shrugged, walking forward out of the elevator. He held his hand in front of the sensor as Jared walked out, making sure the boy walked in the right direction. He had to catch Jared by the back of the shirt when he almost kept walking past the room, and as soon as Shane had it open, Jared made a beeline for the couch.

He fell face forward, legs dangling off the side. He heaved his body up onto the cushions, his face never leaving the pillows. Shane placed his backpack gently by his head before looking around.

The room was large, that was for sure. It appeared to be quite old, though well-maintained, with traditional paintings hung on the walls. The bed, as Shane had guessed when Jared shoved him out of the room after looking in for a moment, was a double, with a large puffy duvet and a thinner, softer blanket folded at the end.

Shane ditched his suitcase to walk over to the curtains, looking back at Jared before tugging one aside.

They were _much_ higher up than he anticipated.

The view was fantastic, showing off the curve of the beach that faded into tropical blue waters. The sun was setting just below the horizon, casting a faint yellow glow over the lingering flecks of people dotting the beach. Between him and the ocean sat a lush forest that spread as far as he could see to his left, view of a city to his right.

He tugged open the stiff door out to the patio, taking a breath of the cool air, before shutting it again. Shane felt someone behind him, and turned to see Jared just as he walked up next to him.

"Damn," the boy sighed, pressing his forehead to the glass. "At least the view is nice."

"Yeah," Shane blinked, standing in silence as Jared eyed the coast. He looked over a few times, noticing how Jared stood out from the emerald green forest behind him. Shane watched as Jared's open mouth breath fogged up the glass, features unmoving. Like a living statue.

Shane understood, for just a moment, why Jared took up modeling.

He stepped back, leaving Jared at the window, to pull out the bed from underneath the cushions. He threw a blanket and pillow from his own bed onto the thin, crinkly mattress. He looked up to see Jared watching him intently from where he was now sat on the floor, legs crossed.

"Didn't feel like helping?" Shane grumbled, leaning down to unzip his suitcase and pull out some of his things.

Jared didn't move to stand up, just responding with, "It looked like you had it handled," under his breath. He turned his head to the side, watching the city with his back to the glass.

Shane went to the restroom, closing the door with his foot, and when he emerged, Jared was digging through his backpack with very little purpose. He had a small stack of shirts and pants, probably about four of each, and a small plastic bag with his toothbrush, comb, and the like, and a pastel yellow polaroid camera with two boxes of film stacked next to it.

The older boy proceeded to pull a charger from the depth of his bag, shove everything but the plastic bag back inside, and zip it up. He passed Shane into the bathroom, silently closing the door behind him.

Shane waltzed to his bed, plugging up his phone before pulling back the large blanket. There was another thin sheet underneath that pulled up with it, and Shane quickly crawled under the mountain of fabric and feathers.

The bed was soft, and he felt himself sinking further into the mattress by the second. He vaguely saw Jared close the curtains through his half-awake eyes before letting the bed swallow him in sleep.

Eggs. Shane woke up to the very clear, _very_ strong smell of eggs the next morning.

He'd barely moved all night, still completely covered in the mound of blankets up to his neck. He lifted his head a bit, blinking at the natural light let in from the now fully-opened curtains. Jared's silhouette was sat at the small table outside, and Shane noticed a tray of food on the opposite bedside table to where he was laying.

Pushing up with a stretch, Shane kicked the blankets to bunch up at the foot of his bed, wiggling his feet in an attempt to get blood to flow through his body. He crawled to the opposite side of the bed, standing as he stretched his back with a yawn. Picking up the tray, he quietly padded towards the indoor table, only to realize it was covered in maps, brochures, and what seemed to be some last-minute purchases at the lobby gift shop of towels and sunscreen.

Defeated, Shane pushed open the glass door, causing the deep maroon curtains to flutter in the strong ocean breeze. Jared turned his head, a gentle smile covering the food shoved into his mouth. He seemed much more awake, with his legs propped up on the railing and a tray of various foods in his lap.

"I thought you'd up and left this morning, I could barely see you under all those blankets," Jared lightly teased. Shane just responded with a _hm_ as he sat at a chair, placing his tray of food on a table next to him. "I got up early, so I picked you up some food while I was there in case they closed before you woke up," Jared spoke, obviously not expecting Shane to make a response. He glanced over for a moment before continuing. "I didn't know what you liked, so I just got a bit of everything."

Shane looked at his tray. It had multiple plates stacked on top, each with various American breakfast foods stacked on top. He picked up one with waffles and some sort of porridge.

Jared himself just had a single plate of eggs and a glass of water.

Shane ate in silence as Jared explained what he had planned for the week, eating small amounts off of each plate. He didn't look at the other boy, in fact, he looked in the opposite direction, but he let him know he was listening by nodding whenever Jared paused.

"I got tickets to an art museum for tomorrow, so we can go there if you'd like. I also got a dinner reservation for afterwards," Jared tapped his fork repeatedly against the side of his plate. "I'm probably going to the beach today. It's a short walk, and I bought two towels if you want to come along. And I have a surprise this Thursday-" Shane looked over with a scowl. "-no noo, a fun surprise! You'll like it," Jared assured him.

Shane was skeptical but followed Jared's gaze out to the ocean. The beach was nearly deserted that early in the morning, but there were a few groups out under umbrellas or splashing around near the coast. The clouds were almost all gone, leaving the sun to glare down harsh and hot.

He glanced over and saw Jared talking, but he could barely hear him. Shane was still focused on the _clink clink click_ of his plate, the way the wind whistled through the railing and through Jared's hair just enough to disturb the meticulously combed part down the center of his head.

Jared must have asked a question at that point because he looked over with a slightly concerned expression. Shane shook his head, trying to shake the heat off his face, getting a slightly disappointed look from Jared. Shane, assuming Jared had taken his actions as a 'no', quickly corrected himself, "Or, uhm, sorry, yeah. I'm just a bit hot."

"Oh! Great!" Jared smiled, before stuttering, "I mean, not the fact you're hot, that's not good, but uhm- you know what, nevermind." Jared stood up, dusting his hands gently over his pants the straighten them out. "I'll go get ready then. You packed a swimsuit, right?"

Oh, come _on_. Jared had asked him to the beach.

Shane did _not_ want to go to the beach.

...But he'd already changed his answer once.

"Uh, yeah," Shane muttered, shoveling more food in his mouth to avoid talking any more. He heard Jared push open the door behind him, and didn't turn around until the door was closed again.

Jared seemed to pause inside, scratch the back of his head, then grabbed a room key and his bag and left.

Shane had planned on staying in the room for the entirety of Monday. He wasn't one for beaches, seeing that he had an unlucky taste for getting embarrassingly red sunburns on his shoulders, and he needed to start working on his art project.

That was, after all the entire reason he came.

But, after finishing off one of the small plates of food, Shane stood up, defeated. He could always draw on the beach, he figured, and this might be his only chance to do so. Picking up the tray, Shane maneuvered inside just as Jared returned, a small plastic bag in hand.

"Oh, are you done?" Jared pointed at Shane's tray, keeping the door propped open with his body. "Here, I'll put it outside."

"I've got it," Shane grumbled, sliding it out next to the door alongside Jared's own tray. A few other trays littered the halls, left to be picked up by staff later that day.

Jared quickly stepped into the bathroom, remaining inside for a long time. Shane could have sworn he'd heard something fall at least twice, but he couldn't be sure.

Shane changed into a pair of swim trunks, tugging a long shirt over his head. It hung a few inches below his hips, bunching up in folds.

Jared eventually emerged from the restroom, wearing a tank top with a pair of swim trunks similar to Shane's. He tugged at the hem of his swimsuit, apparently u comfortable, before looking in the mirror across from him.

Shane noticed a piece of plastic stuck to the back of Jared's pants. "I think you forgot a tag," he called, sitting on his bed. Jirard had sent him a few pictures from his plane, and then another of him with his family.

Jared turned his body so his back was facing the mirror, and he pulled the tag with a quick _snap_. Tossing it in the trash, Jared went to the table, lathering his arms in sunscreen.

After a moment, Jared turned around. Shane was typing away at his phone, legs crossed over the side of the bed. The blankets bunched up around his thighs, Shane seemingly not noticing as Jared called for his attention.

Jared eventually gave up, tossing the sunblock in Shane's direction before watching it disappear in the thick bedding. Shane saw it, made clear by how he leaned to grab it, but he made no movement to thank or even acknowledge Jared.

The swimsuit was _annoying._ Jared wasn't sure how he was supposed to swim in something that loose without it just floating around him, but he felt even less comfortable wearing the speedo he'd already packed. He wasn't sure if it'd freak Shane out, and if Jared was trapped with Shane for a whole week by God he was gonna do the best he could to make friends with him.

The suit was a pale blue, with a yellow pattern stripped along the bottom hems. A faint floral pattern covered the whole thing.

It was the opposite of flattering.

But Jared wasn't here for photos. He was here to relax, forget about Asagao, forget about the Impending Doom that was his mother, and now, as a last minute inclusion, make a good impression on Shane Gill.

Jared lifted the towels under one arm, flicking open a pair of sunglasses in the other to place over his eyes. Shane had finally stood, quickly lathering sunscreen on his arms and, especially, his shoulders, before unplugging his phone. Jared picked up a small beach bag he'd also bought, one that didn't quite fit any of the towels, but did have enough room for the sunscreen, Jared's phone and, after a bit of persuading, Shane's phone. Jared also tossed in the room key, smiling at himself in the mirror as he went to leave the room.

Shane followed slowly, a sketchbook and pencil case cradled in his arms and a visor shading his eyes. Jared propped the door open for him, Shane just walking through with no acknowledgment.

That seemed to be a pattern, Jared noted. Shane didn't like chivalry.

Or maybe he did.

...Jared was confused.

The day down at the beach was more-or-less uneventful. Jared spent a bit of time everywhere, starting with a splash in the ocean, a walk along the beach, and a bit of shell-hunting before settling in the sand near Shane.

The British student had taken both of Jared's towels to make one Super Towel, and he hogged all of it. He'd snatched a beach umbrella already set up, and had apparently been sketching for the entire three hours the two had been down there so far.

Jared began digging in the sand with his hands, going straight down to the cold, wet sand. That seemed to draw Shane's attention for a moment, because he said, "What in bloody fuck are you doing?"

"Digging a hole," Jared replied, glancing up from where he kneeled. "Why?"

"You're getting sand all over my stuff," Shane pointed to his pencils, which were dusted with sand.

Jared raised his eyebrows, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. "Don't you wanna take a break?"

"No," Shane hissed, angrily picking up his pencils and dropping them on his other side. "I'm here to draw."

"Maybe you can help me build a sand castle to draw," Jared shrugged, clawing deeper into the sand. The sand gave way to a small pond of water before a chunk of the wall gave in, spilling into the hole he'd just dug.

Shane just huffed, clearly ignoring Jared as he continued to roughly drag his pencil across the page. Jared shrugged, beginning to push away the loose white sand to crest a platform. He shoveled wet sand into walls, pushing shells he'd gathered into the sides.

As he dug the moat around it, he glanced up to catch Shane staring at Jared's hands. Ignoring it, Jared continued working, vaguely noticing as Shane stood and walked around a bit behind him.

When Jared was almost done, a shadow emerged from behind him, dropping something into his moat. He looked up, shielding his eyes to see Shane.

"Any reason you just dropped a piece of driftwood?" Jared said, plucking the wood from his moat.

"Bridge," Shane said bluntly, crossing his arms. He looked out at the ocean for a moment before sighing, plopping down into the sand next to Jared. "It's not deep enough either."

Jared chuckled, watching as Shane began digging away at the sand. "Since when did you become a moat expert?" he hummed, digging his chunk of sand as deep as Shane's.

"Do you want help or not?" Shane sighed, looking up at Jared. He noticed a hint of friendliness in Shane's eyes before the boy dropped a large shell in his lap. "I was drawing this a second ago. You can use it I guess," he said, scratching the back of his neck before continuing to dig.

Jared picked up the large conch shell, admiring the many branching points that decorated its edge. The inside of the shell was a deep brown, contrasting against a pastel orange exterior. "Where'd you find this?" Jared asked, pushing the shell down into the center of the castle's walls.

Shane looked around before pointing to a clump of rocks that stuck out of the shallow end. "I was looking for smaller ones, but it was just wedged up between them," he explained, smoothing out the sand with his hands. He nodded to a small dip in the towels that Jared hadn't noticed before.

"I never even saw you stand up," Jared said, trying to flatten out the sand around the moat. Shane just shrugged, leaning over the castle to twist the shell slightly.

They worked in silence for a long while, Shane sometimes taking breaks to sit back under his umbrella or just walk around. They eventually finished, sitting back to admire their hard work.

Jared stood up, stretching out his back and dusting sand off his legs. He looked up at the sky, shielding his eyes from the bright sun.

"I'm going in," Shane muttered behind him, making Jared turn. Shane was digging through their bag, pulling out his phone. His cheeks were flushed from the sun, with sand scattered in his hair and above his brows.

"I'll stay out for a bit. Are you sure you wanna go? If you're hungry there's a res-"

"I'm hot," Shane huffed, kicking on his sandals before trodding through the sand back towards the path. He could feel his shirt clinging uncomfortably to his back, and the back of his head was sticky with sweat.

Shane didn't wait for Jared to respond, just continued along, sand giving way under his heavy footsteps. The air was heavy and pulled on his back, the terrain forcing him into an uncomfortable waddle as he forced himself up the slope.

His sketchbook and supplies were tucked under one arm, his phone clutched in the other. Shane had hoped he'd get more done so he could finish up the project he'd been dreading the most quickly, but being around Jared made that hard.

Shane hadn't understood before when Jon had described Jared as "magnetic". He had assumed that it meant people wanted to be friends with Jared, or that he had a lot of attention, and while that was the case it wasn't what made him so strange.

It was impossible _not_ to do whatever Jared was doing.

Shane had seen it before, during club meetings. Even if everyone was talking at once, Jared somehow stood out, and everyone would eventually end up listening and speaking only to him. It even happened in the halls, when Shane would pass him and feel inclined to say hello.

But he'd never felt it quite so _much_ until that trip.

He had so much of Jared's attention at all times, and he could tell he was curious as all hell about who Shane was. Jared did everything with a strange air about him, as if whatever he did was the correct thing to do.

Shane didn't like how much Jared stared at him. It made him self-conscious.

Yet Jared could have an auditorium of people, all eyes on him, all judging every step and movement and breath and he _still_ wouldn't crack.

They were so, so very different.

But somehow, Shane felt they were very much the same.

He was hot and heavy and had no way to move.

He was trapped under blankets and something had a hold of his legs.

Shane couldn't shake it.

He knew it was a dream, he had that pressure between his shoulder blades trying to push his forward and up and _away_ but he just.

Couldn't.

Move.

And she was there, taunting him, the only color in the room.

And he was there, in the shadows, clawing and clawing at wallpaper from beneath the drywall. Shane saw him trying to come through, but the wall stretched across his face and hands until he was distorted like a funhouse mirror.

She was hovering over him like the blade of a guillotine, her hair straight and even.

The whole room felt pink and hot and his hands felt blue and cold.

Then like dust, it all vanished into black.

Jared heard Shane's breathing in the middle of the night. It was uneven and loud, the squeaking of his mattress dispersed in between. He leaned up, not really knowing what to expect, but all he saw was Shane's frame pulled into a tight ball near the side of his bed.

He peeled himself out of bed, tugging a curtain to let in the faint moonlight. He saw Shane's face twisted in pain, flushed in a cold sweat, as his head twitched and rolled around. Shane's eyes were squeezed tight, and his mouth went between tensed and agape over and over as he breathed.

Shane was having a nightmare.

Jared didn't wait long to start waking him up, shaking Shane's shoulder gently with his palm placed over the other's right hand. He gave it a soft, reassuring pressure any time Shane's hand clenched.

"Shane, wake up," Jared whispered, making small shushing noises as Shane's body reeled and shook. "Come on, it's okay, just wake up."

After a few moments, Shane's body relaxed as he took a final deep breath, his chest falling into a typical rhythm. His face slackened before his lashes pulled apart slowly, blinking. Jared gave a light pressure to Shane's shoulder, guiding the boy into laying on his back.

Shane's breath was rough as he woke up, a tired hand reaching up to wipe across his forehead. Jared sat on the very edge of the bed, waiting for Shane to lean up in his own time.

"What happened?" Shane whispered, his eyes dragging across the room. "Fire?"

"No, nothing like that," Jared spoke softly, rubbing circles into his own arm. "You just seemed… distressed. I thought you might have been having a bad dream, so I woke you up," Jared explained, slowly standing to cross the room. He grabbed a glass stacked on the counter, filling it at the bathroom sink before returning to Shane's side.

Shane seemed much more awake, his head fixed on a spot on the farthest wall until Jared approached. He took the water with two shaking hands, giving a small hum of thanks before drinking half the glass.

"Do you remember?" Jared asked, kneeling to the floor. When Shane gave him a confused glance, he corrected, "The dream. Or whatever made your body do-" Jared nodded at him, "-that."

Shane just shrugged, placing the glass on the side table. "Nothing important. Just a dream."

"I, uh," Jared stammered, unsure if he should push any farther. "Are you sure?"

The other boy opened his mouth, the words pushing at his throat, but he seemed to return his eyes to the same small segment of wall that had silenced him before. He remained silent and still, the fight in his head visible in the way his fingers twitched and his chest heaved in a strange pattern. With a deep breath, Shane spoke a hushed, "No."

Jared sat in silence. He was waiting.

Shane could tell Jared was waiting, it was obvious, but he didn't know how much Jared knew. "I.." Shane breathed, watching Jared's frame from the corner of his vision. "I haven't talked about it before."

"You don't have to."

"I know that," Shane closed his eyes, pulling his knees towards himself. He curled into himself, pushing his eyes into his legs in a silent plea to stay dry. He heard Jared's breathing, felt the heat on the right side of his body from where Jared sat, propped on knees, waiting.

Shane couldn't look up.

But he also had to.

Jared's eyes were hidden in shadow, but the comfort was there. His hair stood up in static, glowing faintly from behind. Shane watched him stand in a gentle retreat, hands still placed on the edge of the mattress. "I'll just leave if you want to be alone," Jared spoke, no hint of aggression or force. Just an offer.

Shane grabbed him by the arm.

"Don't," his voice creaked, his lips barely pulling apart from their dry stick. Jared's body fell back into place, Shane's grip loosening until his hand retreated back into his lap. "I just…" Shane whispered, his mind finally catching up to his mouth.

He couldn't tell Jared this. He just _couldn't_. He barely knew him, it wasn't right, especially since he hadn't even told Jirard. Shane considered falling silent again, letting Jared leave and pretending it all never happened. But…

Something in his chest refused.

Jared must have picked up on his indecision because he gave a small, "I won't tell a soul," before tilting his head in a silent question. The question had no weight, Shane felt no malice or curiosity or hope.

Just concern.

And Shane considered the idea, just for a second, that Jared really cared. That maybe Jared had chosen Shane to tag along with him for a reason. That he'd wanted this all along, for Shane and him to have something, anything at all.

More than just strangers in matching jackets.

And so he spoke.

Shane explained everything faster than his brain could process. Every second of pain Emily had put him through, every person she'd hurt in the process, every nightmare or vision of her that haunted him with pink and pink and pink.

Jared listened to Shane more than Shane did.

As he ranted, Shane considered the idea that he should stop, but he couldn't bring his tongue to stop moving. At some point he knew he started crying, he didn't know when, but he saw Jared was crying too.

When Shane started talking about Emily's verbal abuse, he heard Jared's breath hitch before his hand flew to his mouth to cover a soft sob. Shane paused, taking time to process as Jared fixed his breathing.

He thought he'd regret it. Telling Jared his deepest secrets seemed like the last thing Shane would ever, _ever_ be comfortable with, but it was something between Shane's tired state and Jared's soothing awareness that kept him rambling.

Jared had composed himself finally, and Shane could see that his face was flushed and wet with tears. "I… I'm sor-ry, continue," Jared hiccuped, taking a deep breath through his nose. "Continue."

"Do you wanna talk?" Shane blinked, wiping at his eyes. He didn't think he could handle talking any longer, especially not after Jared's strong reaction to something he'd mentioned. "I… I think I'm good now."

Jared smiled carefully, pulling himself up. Shane thought he'd walk away, but the other boy just turned and sat on the bed, legs dangling off the side.

Shane scooted to the side in an invitation.

Jared accepted, swinging his legs up to mirror Shane. "I just… I don't know, really. I guess I just…" he paused, looking upwards. "I understand why you'd… do something like this. Move so far away. I wish I could do the same, really," Jared's chest heaved in a faint chuckle. "My mom, she… she used to hurt me. In a lot of ways. She still does, but I can take it. Plus, I'm miles away and… a-and I have… distractions."

Shane faintly noticed Jared's hands wrung tightly together at his chest. He thought about holding one. Just for a moment. "You said your mom took you out here before," Shane looked up at Jared's face.

Jared nodded.

"Am I your distraction?" Shane whispered, trying desperately to keep his voice friendly.

Jared slowly nodded. "Don't take that, like, negatively. I just didn't want to be stuck here alone…" he ran a hand over his cheek, pushing at the soft skin. "Plus, you've been pretty chill. I didn't think you'd like, do anything with me, so…"

"Are you tired?" Shane noticed the way Jared's head lulled she spoke, and how he put 0 effort into his usual Perfect Robot Jared that Shane was used to.

In fact, Jared hadn't been very theatrical at all the past two days, Shane recalled. He was mild, a strange juxtaposition of two wildly different people in the same skin.

Jared paused, then nodded.

"You should go to bed. I'm good now," Shane ran a hand across his scalp, his elbow bumping Jared's shoulder a bit. He saw the other boy's mouth twitch uncomfortably as he stood, and Shane muttered out a small, "Thank you."

Jared smiled down at him. Shane saw his mouth moving, but nothing reached his ears. All he could see was the faint golden halo around him, the shaking of the curtains, the way everything seemed to shine and sparkle off Jared's face like a waterfall.

Then he was gone, rolled up in blankets on the thin spring pullout.

And Shane felt a sink in his stomach. A familiar pain that hovered in his heels as he sunk back down into the mattress.

When he looked out the window once again, everything looked so golden and beautiful as it all melted away.

Shane's right hand felt pink and warm and his cheeks felt blue and cold.

And it all melted into gold.

Something between them changed, Jared was sure of it.

He realized it early, when Shane came to the porch, food in hand, with no hesitation. Shane seemed awake and alive, his eyes listening as Jared spoke of plans and ideas.

He still hardly talked, but Jared didn't mind.

That day they went into town, wandering streets of bustling people and stands selling everything from food to backpacks. Shane stopped particularly long at a flower booth, listening as Jared spoke of each flower and its meaning.

Jared learned then that Shane loved flowers.

"They're pretty neat," Shane had said with a shrug, shoulder pressed into Jared's side so they wouldn't be separated in the crowd. But he had this light in his eye and a delicate touch when he danced around the petals that told Jared he really, _really_ liked flowers.

Jared made sure to remember that.

They ate lunch at a little cafe, people-watching through the large windows as they went through their plates. Jared paid, of course, and while Shane wasn't exactly happy about it, he had lost his edge.

Shane didn't bring his sketchbook, instead taking many, many, _many_ pictures, sporadically stopping in his tracks whenever he saw something he liked. Many of his photos were of particularly interesting buildings, like an antique store with an old rocking chair parked in the window, and a bakery decorated in bright rainbows and fluorescent pinks.

He seemed to like the art gallery.

Jared and Shane kept pace very well, walking and reading and looking. The pieces were unique and colorful, with some catching Shane's attention longer than others.

One of particular interest was of a field of wheat, the shadow of a boy strolling through the grain. Shane had paused, pulled out his phone, typed, then walked on. He gave Jared no warning when he was about to walk, but after a while, he picked up that Jared was following with him, so he'd slow down when he walked enough that Jared could keep pace.

The dinner had a similar atmosphere. Shane ate in near silence, but he interacted just enough to tell Jared to keep talking. He'd made sure the restaurant wasn't _too_ formal, since he didn't want to pressure Shane into wearing something he wasn't comfortable with, but it had nice enough food.

Jared eventually learned that Shane wasn't the most fluent in Japanese.

He knew a lot, that was evident, but Jared caught him dancing around certain words that he clearly didn't know. Things like _tablecloth_ and _bitter_ were ones he got caught up on, but Jared didn't attempt to teach or correct him.

He made Shane laugh a few times. It was nice.

Everything just felt nice.

On Wednesday, Shane stayed in the room all day. Jared jumped between the pool, the beach, and the room, not lingering in the latter too long so he wouldn't disturb his roommate.

Shane, from what Jared could tell, was buckled down over the table for hours straight, burning through all the reference photos he'd taken the day before. He didn't try to peer into what Shane had drawn, something he'd told himself to avoid after Shane nearly punched Jon in the throat for doing just that.

When Jared brought back dinner, a box of _Dominick's Pizza_ , Shane had moved to draw outside. The door was shut, something Jared periodically forgot to do, so Jared just _tap-tapped_ his knuckles gently against the glass.

Shane blinked up, acknowledging Jared with a quick flick of his empty hand. Pulling the door open, Jared quickly set the box on the table, pulling the door closed behind him.

Jared was either tired or hungry, Shane wasn't sure, because he began eating in silence. It set Shane on edge as he ran his pencil back and forth over the same spot aimlessly, not even watching the paper.

Shane knew far too many of Jared's little ticks and quirks by that point. It all came from the "watch don't talk" attitude he'd picked up after the move to Japan to keep from embarrassing himself, which gave him plenty of time to find every small thing that set Jared off.

Like how Jared made small noises when he ate, barely audible, but nonetheless there, or how Jared drastically underestimated how hot something actually was on a regular basis. Jared held his own hands when he was nervous, in a way that mocked Shane every time he noticed because _why on Earth are you staring at Jared Knabenbauer's hands so much_.

And Shane noticed the way Jared was hunched up in his chair, heels balancing along the edge like a diver, watching the water below. His jacket was on his shoulders, sleeves ghosting along the armrests, and he wore the same clothes he'd worn every night underneath.

The quiet was sickening, not the inviting, friendly silence he was used to. Shane tried to cut through it, asking, "How was the pool?"

Jared jumped a little, glancing up with wide eyes as if he forgot Shane was there. Which, Shane thought, could have actually been the case. "Oh, it was uhm…" Jared coughed, shrugging as he looked ahead. His jaw sharpened aggressively, tilted so his neck bunched together. ""Perfectly fine. A bit shallow, and there were a lot of kids, but it was…"

A long pause. Shane hummed, closing his sketchbook and placing it aside. "Never liked kids much," he hummed, leaning over to peel a slice away. "Bit loud."

"Yeah," Jared muttered, his teeth gnawing against a piece of crust absentmindedly. He blindly reached for the pizza box, his hand lazily waving in the air.

Shane pushed the pizza closer, but Jared didn't even notice as he nearly toppled it off the poorly-balanced table. "Somethin' on your mind?" Shane asked, pinning his teeth closed in mild frustration. He tugged the box back in place. "Y'seem distracted."

"I'm, uhm… I guess a bit," Jared sighed, curling further into himself. There was a pause where Jared seemed to be planning his words carefully, rolling his thumb around the hem of his sleeve anxiously. "My mom called."

Shane remained politely silent, leaning back in his chair as an invitation. He watched Jared unravel, kicking his feet out to hang on the railing.

"Apparently, a friend of hers told her I had a girlfriend- which I don't, by the way-" Jared said the last bit with a flustered wave of the hand. He glanced at Shane and coughed before continuing. "-I told her that, but she still freaked out on me. Said that 'she'll be the one deciding who I'm good with' because apparently, I'm a 'poor decision maker when it comes to peers'," Jared made large, flamboyant air quotes as he spoke, ankles twisting back and forth in rhythm.

"And it just, I started thinking like-" Jared let his arms fall onto the armrests carefully. His whole body tensed as he looked up over Shane's head. "What'll happen if I date someone she doesn't approve of?"

Shane made a small _hm_ , getting Jared's attention for a moment. "Like how?" he asked, crossing his legs at the knee. He let his calves tap together in a gentle sway, waiting to see if Jared would answer for him.

He didn't.

"Are you thinking money? Personality? Status?" Shane spoke, more to himself than Jared. He looked over sharply, noting how Jared had his eyes stuck on the floor. "Or is it a different issue?"

Jared nodded.

"Huh," Shane muttered, keeping his eyes trained on the top of Jared's head. "I mean, I can see why that'd be a problem."

"I haven't even told you the problem yet," Jared mumbled, crossing his arms. "You don't know my-"

"But-" Shane cut him off. "-I guess I should tell you, you're not alone," he watched Jared's head snap up, chuckling in the back of his throat. "It's not weird or anything."

Jared sputtered over his words for a moment before he leaned over the table into Shane's space. He spoke as if they were in a crowd, asking, "You're gay too?"

Shane let his eyes widen in mock surprise for a moment, just enough to trick Jared into thinking he'd misunderstood, before leaning back with a small laugh. "Yeah, dude. You should have seen the look on your face, though," Shane smiled, glancing at Jared who was dragging his hands over his face. "Sorry man. Had to."

Jared just sighed, chest heaving in a gentle laugh. "You're dumb," he sighed, mirroring Shane as he leaned back in his chair. His giggle slowly devolved into a loud, barking laugh as he rocked back and forth in his chair. "Fuck you, man."

Shane let a wide smile pull on his skin as Jared looked up at the patio above them. He took in the sight of Jared next to him, on the verge of tears as his chest heaved sporadically. His hands were clenched tightly to his jacket, hair falling over his forehead in a mess.

"Y-you mean it though?" Jared spoke through the laughter, pulling his eyes back to Shane.

"Yeah, I mean-" Shane waved his hands around. " _Pan_ , technically, but I don't care about labels that much. Seems dumb to lump yourself in a group as if it matters."

Jared hummed in approval, nodding his head as if he was listening to music Shane couldn't quite hear. "I don't really know what I am yet," Jared sighed, a smile plastered deep into the corners of his face. "But I don't really care all that much."

He glanced over quickly to Shane, catching his gaze for just a moment.

"I know who I love, who I care about, and that's all that really matters," Jared shrugged, looking out over the trees into the ocean. Those words felt so freeing to him, like something buried in his ribs that had been pounding to get out. As if a part of him had been shot down by everyone until that very moment where he said "fuck you" to the world.

But to Shane, those words felt like lighting, and all he could do was stare.

"Come on," Jared moaned, back leaning impatiently against the door. "We're gonna be late!"

"Calm your ass," Shane rolled his eyes, continuing to brush his teeth as Jared groaned at him through the bathroom door.

Jared paced, fidgeting with his hair in the mirror as he stood. "Shane," he drawled, pressing his cheek against the door. "Are you almost done?"

"Just a minute, _mum,_ " Shane mocked, tossing his stuff onto the counter with a _clink_. He dried his face off quickly with a hand towel before sliding out of the restroom.

Both of them were in jeans, for what godforsaken reason Shane didn't know. What he _did_ know as soon as they stepped outside was that walking to whereverthefuck in the long, thick material was going to be a living hell.

Shane felt like a convection oven, heat billowing in the stride of his pants quickly. The collar of his shirt stuck uncomfortably to his neck, and his sneakers felt like they were melting into the sidewalk.

Jared, however, seemed unfazed, something Shane quickly pointed out. "Oh? I guess I'm just built for the heat," he's shrugged, making Shane purse his lips in a frown.

The walk was longer than Shane had anticipated, and he felt like a puddle but the time they reached the dirt path Jared said would lead them to the surprise.

Jared seemed very excited, a bounce in his step as soon as they turned up the shallow hill.

Shane was very much _not_ excited. The smell of the forest quickly became overwhelmed by a sour, uncomfortable stench. The only thing Shane could still smell over it was Jared's strong-as-hell cologne, which he noted, smelled floral and fresh.

As soon as Shane saw horses, he started putting the puzzle together. A large, white horse raced along the length of a fenced-in pasture towards a similarly large brown horse.

A short girl was clipping the fence closed as the passed, looking up at Jared and Shane with a friendly wave. "Mornin' y'all! What brings you twos 'round here?" she hollered in English, hauling a large halter over her shoulder.

Shane looked over at Jared, who just looked at her blankly. "Ask if Tyrah is out here," Jared whispered, nodding out at the field.

"Is there a Tyrah?" Shane translated, the girl bouncing up the small slope onto the road ahead of them. Jared was glancing between them blankly.

"Yessir there is, just keep on down this road past those bushes there, and head in that beige-ish barn," she pointed, giving Shane a wide smile. "Any clue what horse y'all ridin'?"

Shane repeated the question to Jared, who turned to the girl and said, "Zamba."

"Oh! Zeze's a great horse. Just make sure he don't trip on nothin and you'll be just fine. Have fun y'all!" she called over her shoulder, jogging across the path to a paddock on the other side. She slipped underneath the fence, almost immediately being approached by a smaller horse with a large white patch on its hindquarters.

Jared looked to Shane for a translation, which he gave the best he could as they walked. When the two got closer to the barns, a broad, cream-colored horse stuck its head over the fence towards Shane. Jared reached around him to stroke the horse's nose, who leaned into his palm.

"So you've been here before?" Shane questioned, reaching a tentative hand up to stroke along the horse's mane. It was sharp and short, standing at attention down the long curve of its neck.

Jared nodded, huffing as the horse pulled its lip back to try and nip at his fingertips. "I did a photoshoot with one of the horses here a while back. They're all rescues, I think, and the staff here are all really sweet. We're not usually supposed to be here this early, but Tyrah's letting us do a trail on one of the lesson horses."

Shane nodded, rubbing his palm against the point of the horse's shoulder in soft circles. "Cute horse," Shane murmured, watching as Jared gave it a small kiss on the bridge of its nose.

"Freedom's a sweetie," Jared smiled, looking up at Shane carefully before reaching towards Shane's free hand. Shane let him grab it, pulling it up to place just above the horse's nostrils, Jared's hand lingering over his. "Mom always complained how they cut her hair."

"I think it's nice," Shane blurted out, causing Jared's gaze to snap suddenly up to his. "I-I mean uh, yeah, it-" he coughed, rubbing the hand bit under Jared's across his neck anxiously. "It's nice."

Jared let out a loud chuckle, rubbing a thumb over Shane's knuckles before pulling away. "She's a pretty one," he whispered, turning back down the path with a nod. "We should probably go find Tyrah."

"Oh, yeah," Shane blinked, letting Jared turn to walk ahead of him. His left hand was burning on Freedom's muzzle, the right dangling limply by his side. While Jared's back was turned, Shane placed a small kiss on the same part of her face Jared had before. "Good girl," he sighed, peeling away from the horse to walk side-by-side with Jared the rest of the way.

Tyrah turned out to be a Japanese native, a stocky lady with long, flat black hair pulled tight in a ponytail. She showed Jared and Shane around the barns, letting Shane pet the friendly horses as they passed. Jared ended up carrying one of two large roosters after he waltzed up and stood on Jared's boot, cradling in his arms as they walked.

Shane walked next to him at times, petting the rooster carefully down its spine. "He loves the attention," Tyrah had said, crossing her arms. "Foghorn, on the other hand, he's quite the angry man, isn't he Vinny," she cooed, leaning her face to be level with the large, white fowl.

After a while, Shane finally met the horse he and Jared were apparently riding. Zamba was a wide spotted horse, or as Jared told him, a "paint". He had a large white stripe that cut through the black of his face, drifting over one of his eyes. He made funny noises when Tyrah played with his mouth.

"You two can take the blue path. Just make sure you always have the blue ribbons on your right side and you'll be fine," Tyrah explained, hooking a harness over Zamba's head before leading him out of his stall. His hooves were large and pale, much broader than any of the other horses Shane could see, but he walked delicately forward until Tyrah hooked him to a rope.

Shane and Jared stood off to the side as Tyrah efficiently pulled tack onto Zamba. She placed a large pad over his back, shifting it up to cover the end of his mane.

"Does it hurt a horse to have two people?" Shane questioned, hands shoved deep in his pockets. His fingers fidgeted with the fabric.

Tyrah shook her head, giving Zamba a hearty pat on the neck. "Not for Zeze it doesn't. He's comfortable having two people on him, as long as there's not a saddle. That's why we use a pad. Plus, then you can be up closer to where Jared's sitting instead of way back on his loins."

Shane nodded, pointing as Tyrah placed the reigns over Zamba's head. "What about that thing in his mouth? Does that hurt?"

"The bit?" Tyrah questioned, leading Zamba forward a few steps. Jared placed Vinny on the floor gently before taking the reins in his hands. "Zamba has what we call a "happy-mouth" bit. It's basically a rubber coating to keep it from hurting. We have some other horses, like Aili, who need really harsh ones. Zeze's a good boy, though, not to mention a bit old."

"He's not _that_ old," the girl from before spoke up, appearing from behind Shane's shoulder. She had a large bucket of feed in her hands that looked ready to spill out the top. "But I did ride him when I was like, 9, so he's not young either."

Tyrah and her started talking about feeding, something Jared apparently took as a sign to move outside. "Can you grab us helmets? I'll take him somewhere we can get on."

Shane nodded, letting Jared pass with Zamba as he pulled two black helmets off the hooks on the wall. He placed one on his head, adjusting the strap so it wasn't strangling him, and started the track out the barn.

"Tell Jared to let you on first!" Tyrah called, head poking out from a closet on one end of the barn. "And make sure not to go off path! Zamba's a bit clumsy."

"Yes ma'am," Shane hollered back, pulling the stick of denim away from his thighs as he walked. The barn had no fans.

Passing Jared his helmet, Shane helped him shift the interior to fit his head before listening as Jared taught him how to get on. He explained with his hands, rubbing his palm over where Shane was supposed to land ( _gently_ , as Jared had emphasized).

Shane stood at the top of the y'all wooden stairs, clutching a chunk of main along with the reigns before quickly swinging his leg over and landing as softly as he could on the horse's spine.

The height was actually _dizzying_. Jared placed a hand on his knee to push him back on the horse's wide barrel before following Shane's motions.

Shane, after letting go of the reigns to let Jared on, quickly grasped at the other boy's shirt for safety.

"Don't be scared, Shane," Jared turned with a smile, scooting forward a bit to settle into a dip in Zamba's back. "Scoot up, you'll feel more balanced here."

Shane followed his directions, shifting forward until there was an inch of distance between their hips before regaining his hold on Jared's blue button-down.

"Just- here, put your hands-" Jared grabbed one of his hands, pulling it forward to wrap around his waist. "I promise, you'll feel a lot safer."

Shane nodded shakily, his other hand slowly trailing across Jared's stomach until it mirrored the first. "O-okay, yeah. Better."

"If you feel scared or unbalanced, let me know. I'll help you hop off or get resituated. And just," Jared tilted his head back to see him, face just inches away. "Trust me. I'd never sign you up for _anything_ that'd hurt you."

Shane nodded, his grip around Jared's waist tightening as Jared's heels tapped on Zamba's sides to start moving. The horse's gait was heavy but still very steady as they tracked down the slope of the field onto the trail.

Jared's head turned a lot as they walked, talking about the wildlife as Zamba tracked along the well-worn path. A few squirrels flitted amongst the treetops, swaying the branches as if to mock the non-existent wind.

"Asagao," Shane muttered, almost into Jared's hair, a shaky hand reaching out to point to a bush dotted in blue and violet.

"They're lovely," Jared sighed, his spine curving back into Shane's chest for a moment before regaining posture. "I've always loved the color blue."

Shane felt an icy burn behind his eyes. "It's a calming color," he muttered, suddenly realizing his hands had been fidgeting with the hem of Jared's shirt. He kept doing it to see if Jared would call him out on it.

"A lot of people say they look good in blue, but there's so much in blue," Jared sighed, head tilted to the side. One of his hands roamed a spot on Zamba's shoulder, the other held both sides of the reigns in slack. "I mean, I look better in dark blue than light blue. I think everyone has their blue."

"What's my blue?" Shane half-teased, chin tilted towards the wavering sky of green. " _Polluted ocean_?"

Jared chuckled, his hand reaching up to rub circles in his neck. The back of his knuckles grazed Shane's lips, and he realized suddenly how close they were.

"That sounds more like your personality," Jared retorted, rolling his shoulder back into Shane's playfully. "I was thinking more… winter blue," Jared hummed to himself, his other hand returning to the reigns. "Something cold and mistaken for gray more often than not. But still so calm, so _blue_ , like-"

 _Like ice. Like stone._

"Like the moon," Jared smiled to himself. "And space and the stars. We call them black and white but if you look really close-" Jared's back gently pressed into Shane. "-It's blue."

"What does that make you?" Shane spoke, trying hard to keep his voice firm.

"I've always felt like a lake," Jared muttered, a huff of air blowing from his nose. "A deep blue."

Shane let a warm sigh dance across Jared's neck. He felt his whole body shudder. "I think you're turquoise."

Jared's mouth twitched across his face. "Why's that?"

"Because it's delicate and beautiful and…" Shane took a deep breath of the morning air, cold in his throat. He heard the crunching of foliage beneath them, the clutter of scurrying animals just out of sight, the way the plants seemed to whisper in the silence. "And it's so alive."

Jared's body was still, head bowed to face Zamba's hooves. Shane thought maybe he said something wrong, that maybe it was too much, but Jared just looked up to him with a wide, joyous smile.

"I like the sound of that."

Jared took him to a view.

It overlooked the fields of the farm, bleeding out into the now bustling life of the city. Zamba was tied up to an old-looking water trough, just strong enough for the two boys to trust it with their only ride back.

They picked flowers. Shane had started it, thinking they'd be fun to press and glue into his sketchbook, and Jared had followed his lead.

"I found a big bush of flowers," Jared smiled, holding his small bouquet up for Shane to look at. "They kind of look like roses, but they're too flat."

Shane faintly smiled, displaying his hands. "I just grabbed some small ones I saw around," he shrugged, one of the small pastel flowers balanced on the very edge of his fingertip. "Hope they don't get too crushed in my pocket."

Jared stared fondly down at Shane's hands, slowly reaching up to lift a larger purple flower into his palm. The stem was long, hanging freely between his fingers as Jared held it up to his face. "A friend of mine said these were her favorites."

"Ever made a flower crown before?" Shane asked aloud, drawing Jared's attention up.

He shook his head.

Shane responded by looking around, finding a flat patch of ground a few feet away from the cliff side. He walked over, gently dropping the small flora to the ground as Jared followed close behind. "I made them once, when I was a kid," Shane explained as he eased himself on to the ground.

"Seems like it'd be difficult," Jared said, legs tucked beneath him. Shane was across from him, cross-legged. "Plus, don't we need like, wire?"

"Not necessarily," Shane hummed, taking one of Jared's with a long, straight stem. He showed carefully how to braid the flowers together, making a flimsy hoop to stick other flowers inside. "Probably not the _best_ way to make these, but it works," he mused, lacing the delicate pink flowers in the small gaps.

Jared mirrored him with ease, making a slightly smaller crown that he decorated with the big white flowers. He held it up proudly. "Pretty nice, if I say so myself."

Shane hummed, turning his around in his hands. "Here," he reached out, placing it over Jared's hair carefully. One of the small flowers fell away, drifting across Jared's cheek onto his shoulder. "Looks better on you."

"You never got to see it on yourself," Jared teased, face lightly flushed as he held out his own crown. Shane just bowed his head, letting Jared gently settle the flowers on the top of his head. Jared chuckled when he looked up. "The flowers are a bit big."

"And mine's falling apart," Shane noted, watching as another flower became stuck in the hair above Jared's ear. Shane gently brushed it away, nails grazing against Jared's skin.

Jared looked out over the cliff, smiling as a bird landed in the grass near the edge. "Man, you don't get a view like that often, huh?" he giggled, legs unfolding to prop in front of him.

"Should've seen my old place," Shane muttered. "Always just… big, gray nothing."

"I've never been out of Japan. I mean, until I was thirteen I hadn't even left my little neighborhood. Mom would leave me with whoever would come to watch me," Jared shrugged, fingers digging into the ground. "Left me with the Kao's as much as she could. I think she wants me to marry their daughter, but I doubt that'll ever happen."

"Who're they?" Shane asked, leaning back on his hands to look up at the trees.

"Korean millionaires. Mom met them through me wanting to do modeling since they're renowned photographers. They have a daughter, but I'm ninety-nine percent sure she has a boyfriend she's been hiding for like, two years," Jared chuckled, crossing his forearms over his knees. "Mom seems to think she'll inherit the company, but I think she's entering the navy as soon as she's out of high school."

Shane made a sound of acknowledgment, listening as Zamba kicked gently against the trough that kept him confined. Jared was still staring out at the edge, and Shane took his silence as an opportunity to speak.

"My parents never liked Emily. They tried to warn me that she was manipulative, but I guess she was just… really distracting? I don't know. But I knew I didn't actually care about her when I met someone else near the end of our relationship," he sighed, readjusting the crown on his head. "After I broke up with her, she started making threats to my family, to the guy I met. I had to get out of there so she'd leave us alone."

"You cheated on her?" Jared asked, fully interested in what he was saying. His stare didn't make Shane uncomfortable anymore.

"Hell no. She may have been an abusive bitch but I'd never do that," Shane defended himself. "I knew I'd never be with him either. He was a foreign exchange student, a year above me too. But I mean, if I really loved her, I wouldn't have fallen for him too, would I?"

Jared nodded. "Good point."

"So, I asked my parents to get me out of there. I'd been taking Japanese for a while, so they agreed to let me come out here. They'd just tell my friends and family I was here to 'experience the culture' or something," Shane stretched one of his arms out, his elbow giving out a creaky _pop_.

"You go home in the summer?"

"Only for two weeks. I stay at Asagao the rest of the summer."

"Wait, really?" Jared blinked, leaning forward to look Shane in the face. "Why don't you stay there?"

Shane frowned. "Emily's still there. Every time I visit she sends my parents letters asking for a chance to talk to me. I don't want to be there too long so she doesn't have a chance to visit the house herself."

Jared let out a sad, "Oh," looking down at the dirt between them. "I just stay with my mom all summer."

"Maybe we should do somethin' like this over summer," Shane mused, tossing a rock that had been under his hand over the cliff. "I can teach you some English and we can visit the great ol' States."

"I'm sensing some sarcasm," Jared giggled. He messed with the front of his hair a bit, tucking it under the lip of his crown. "But I mean, I honestly wouldn't mind. Get away from the crazy women in our lives."

That got a short laugh from Shane, who was suddenly standing up with his hand extended. "Sounds like a plan," he smiled sincerely, waving his hand towards Jared. "I think Zamba's getting anxious though."

"Oh, really?" Jared let Shane haul him to his feet, turning around to see Zamba stomping at the floor. Shane's hand lingered in his as he continued to walk towards to horse, dropping as Shane rubbed both his hands into Zamba's neck. "Here, I'll give you a leg up," Jared offered, unknotting and swinging the reigns over Zamba's head.

Shane turned to him, confused as he buckled his helmet over his head. He dangled his flower crown over his wrist, snatching Jared's to hold as well.

Jared used his hands to guide Shane into holding the reigns and the horses back, lifting Shane's right leg into a bend. "Just jump up and swing over on the count of three, ok?"

Jared managed to haul Shane (who, he might mention, wasn't particularly light) onto Zamba's back, using the trough as a way to get some leverage to swing himself on in front. Shane moved quickly this time, scooting forward after Jared was comfortable to wrap his arms around his torso.

Giving Zamba a little tap with his heels, Jared started a light conversation as the horse clomped along the path. At one point while going down a rough hill, Shane's arms tensed against Jared's stomach, pressing it in uncomfortably. "Geez, you work out often or am I just weak?" Jared giggled, letting out a jagged breath as Shane's grip significantly loosened."

"Oh, sorry," Shane muttered, shifting his arms around to try and make his grip loose. In the process, however, he felt Shane wobble behind him, causing Jared to protectively reach around his back to hold Shane in place.

"Don't worry about it, just stay safe," Jared smiled over his shoulder, the pressure of Shane's arms returning below his ribs. "Don't want you to fall off now, do I?"

Shane chuckled nervously, his nose pressing into Jared's hair to hide his face. While Jared himself smelled primarily of ham, his hair was scented like apples and cinnamon, nothing like what Shane had expected.

"You like my shampoo?" Jared teased, his high-pitched laugh letting out a short, rough snort. "I use ladies shampoo."

"I figured," Shane hummed, fingers finding their way to twist into the hem of Jared's shirt once again. "I thought you'd use like, _Scalp and Neck_ or something, wasn't expecting the cinnamon."

Jared tittered, giving a small click with his tongue. "I'm enough of a robot as-is."

Shane's brows folded together. "You're not a robot," he frowned, getting a sarcastic laugh from the other. "I mean it, like, sure, I thought you were _before_ , but… you just choose when to have fun. You do it on your own time, not in front of everyone."

"It's less that I choose _when_ I have fun," Jared interrupted, Zamba slowing to a near halt. "and more about choosing _who_ I have fun with. I have to trust them not to fuck with my mom, tell her about my only chance at a private life I've ever had."

Shane nodded against him.

"I trust the club a lot- you especially-" Jared turned to him with a smile. "-but the other kids there aren't invested in _me_. If I'm well-loved, if I'm active at the school, then people won't wonder what I do in my personal time because so much of my time is out in the open."

"You shake their suspicion by being popular," Shane offered.

Jared looked back, relief on his face. " _Exactly._ God, at least one person understands what I'm doing," he chuckled, leaning his shoulders into Shane's chest as if letting out a deep breath.

There was a comfortable pause in conversation as Jared helped guide Zamba along the side of the road to avoid the tougher terrain. Shane was still very aware of Jared's spine gripping softly into his skin, yet he felt no need to push him off.

Jared fit quite well there.

"I'm really glad you came with me," Jared spoke, barely above a whisper. His head tilted, turned sideways to the ground, leaving his long neck exposed to the sun. "You're… you're my favorite person I've met so far."

"So far, meaning…?" Shane pressed, the backs of his fingers grazing Jared's stomach, unnoticed as he twisted the fabric into folds.

Jared looked forward with a wide, fond smile. "Ever, I guess."

Shane blinked.

"I haven't met someone who gets me like you do."

Shane blinked up, thinking over the past few days. Everything he'd said, how close he and Jared were with very little effort. How Jared had accommodated and cared for him even through Shane's (admittedly half-hearted) protests.

Then there was the way his hands burned every time he touched him, how the contact he usually fled from felt so comfortable and like _home_ and _goddamnit Shane don't think like that_.

Shane couldn't help it. It happened in passing, wanting so badly just to touch and hold and _kiss_ Jared wasn't healthy. Learning Jared was bi gave him hope, but he couldn't. Shane couldn't let himself think like that because the last time he did it burned.

But he was Jared's _favorite person_. Jared wouldn't just say that, he may be a flatterer but that wasn't the way he did things. He flattered with the passive comments, saying Shane looked good in blue or that, " _Hey, you should smile more often_."

Shane was Jared's _favorite_ person.

"You're my favorite person too," Shane spoke as a breath. It was light and honest and it burned at his teeth that wanted him to just _hold that back, this week's almost over_.

But the way Jared turned, shoulder pressed against Shane's heart, and smiled a smile Shane had never seen before, lips dancing on something he never said out loud made Shane's eardrums pound.

And suddenly, Shane wasn't okay with just _favorite_.

He wanted to be _everything_.

The rest of that day was spent by the pool, Shane paddling around the deep end lost in thought as Jared drifted between sitting in the shallows, swimming up to talk to him, and relaxing on one of the chairs, reading a newspaper. They talked about school and the upcoming convention the club was going to, the former looming over Shane's head as he leaned against the rough tile. Would he and Jared go back to how they were before? They weren't in the same year, so It'd be hard to talk very often, but there was a chance he-

"Hey, you still breathing down there?" Jared waved a hand across his eyes, making Shane jerk around. His arm scraped roughly against the jagged cement lining, making his skin burn. Jared loomed over him, a towel wrapped around his waist and tucked neatly into itself over his hip. "It's almost dinner, you wanna go out to eat?"

"Oh, uh, sure. Yeah," Shane replied, hauling himself up the wall quickly, feet scrambling against the slick tile for a grip. He made it onto the surface quickly, dripping water onto the walkway as Jared tossed him a towel.

"There's a ramen place nearby, we can go there? I mean, if you like that," Jared said, waiting nearby as Shane shook the moisture from his hair and legs with the fabric.

Shane gave him a nod, holding eye contact as he pulled the towel around his body. "Yeah, sounds good."

Jared bounced on his heels, leading the way back to the room. They moved swiftly, spending only as much time as they needed in the room before they were back out the door. Shane listened fondly as Jared rambled, unintentionally syncing his stride to stay pace.

The ramen was good, but only after Jared switched his meal with Shane's after realizing the other ordered something a _lot_ saltier than he'd expected. Shane hadn't said anything, but the way his face curled into itself told Jared enough, quickly handing Shane his much less salty (but still just as good) dish.

On the way back, Jared caught Shane slowing to a near halt as they passed the flower cart from a few days prior. The man who ran it, a scrawny man with streaks of gray lining his hair, was desperately scratching at his head.

"Are you okay sir?" Shane asked him carefully, his foot stepping forward to open his body. "Do you need any help?"

"Ah, no no no, I'm just worried about sales is all. Very nice of you to offer, young man," the vendor smiled, turning around to look at his flowers. "Not selling very well this time of year."

Jared watched as Shane quickly began fishing around in his pocket. "How much are they, sir?" he said, already fanning through the leather piece.

"Oh, please, you don't have to."

"Your flowers are lovely," Shane smiled softly. "I'd love to buy some."

The man fidgeted with his shirt collar, giving Shane a short nod. "Very well. Which one would you, uh, like?"

Shane suddenly turned to Jared. "Which one do you want?"

"Me?!" Jared's voice cracked, pointing at his chest. Shane only nodded at him, then at the stand. "I, ahm, uh…" Jared blinked at the other boy, who just stared at him unblinking until he was forced to look at the flowers. Covering his face slightly with his hand, Jared raised a shaking hand to point at a bundle of various lilac and white blooms. "T-that one please," he squeaked, covering his mouth.

Shane smiled at the man, who pulled the large bouquet from the stand. He tried passing it to Shane, but the other boy just handed it off to Jared with a short smile before turning back to the man to pay.

Jared hid his face in the flowers until Shane tapped him in the shoulder to walk on.

"You didn't have to do that…" Jared whispered, eyes locked on a waving white blossom in the center of the arrangement.

"I could tell he needed the money. He had a picture of him and his daughters on the stall," Shane shrugged, hands buried in his short's pockets. "Plus, you've bought all the food since I've been here, and you've done like, all this stuff for me."

"Like what?" Jared chuckled under his breath. "Dragged you up and down the coastline instead of letting you work on your project?"

"Man, fuck that project," Shane giggled, kicking at a stone on the sidewalk. "It's way more fun just piddling around the beach with you. I mean, I don't know many people who can say they've ridden doubles on a trail up to a cliff and made flower crowns-" Shane turned to him, and Jared felt small in his shadows. "- can you?"

Jared shook his head, letting the flowers rest lower down near his stomach. They were cradled between both of his arms, supported like they might fly away at any moment. Shane was bulky and intimidating next to him, blocking the sun that crept behind the tree-lined path. His shoulders rolled as he walked, making a soft _pop_ in the silence.

There was no one else around.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay sleeping in that pullout?" Shane glanced at him, face trained on the sidewalk that winded ahead of them. "I sat on it earlier and I think I got violated by a spring."

Jared let out a sharp laugh, suddenly aware of the soreness in his lower back. He bounced between his feet, letting his spine roll with his hips in his stride. "I mean, not really a better choice I don't think. Plus, I'm lighter than you are-"

"Sayin' I'm fat now, are we?"

" _Muscular,_ Shane. I'm built like a twig. Anyways, I don't push down on the springs as much."

"But you could always sleep on the other side of my bed," Shane hummed, jaw tilted so his eyes could look down at Jared. "It's pretty damn huge."

Jared swallowed as subtly as he could, eyes unable to look away from Shane's face. It was heavily shadowed from the back but still softened around the edges by the warm yellow street lamps and the glow of the slowly crawling moon. He looked so sensitive and warm, the hand between them now dangling freely. "That an offer?" Jared attempted to sound teasing, but to his ears, he only sounded desperate.

"If you want it to be," Shane shrugged. "It's a nice bed. I think the person paying should have a chance to use it, and you'd _never_ let me sleep on that couch."

Jared hummed deep in his throat, a mock of deep thought, before nudging Shane with his shoulder. "I'll only accept if you're not a kicker."

"I promise, I'm quite the opposite."

"A slapper?"

Shane let out a deep giggle buried deep inside his bones. Jared felt his own rattle at the beautiful sound. "Nah, the most you have to worry about is me getting too much in your space. I'm a bit of a roller, but I'll be fine if you just push me a little," Shane shrugged. "Plus, I sleep like a rat."

Jared raised an eyebrow at him.

"I sleep in a ball," Shane said, combing along his widow's peak slowly. "Fetal position."

"Don't worry, I've noticed."

"You sleep like an angel," Shane blinked up at the sky. Jared's head snapped to him suddenly, and Shane just shook his hand awkwardly. "You know, you spread your arms out, like wings. That's what my mom always called it," Shane gulped, hands knotting behind his neck. "You guys don't call it that?"

"I like that name," Jared chuckled, blinking as he realized they'd arrived at the hotel. Before he could grab the handle, Shane was holding it open, letting Jared walk ahead of him after a quiet, "Thank you."

The two chatted like that all the way up to the room, Jared making an effort to be as chivalrous as he could while still holding the flowers close to his heart. When they made it back, Shane made a beeline for the shower, leaving Jared to unwrap his flowers and place them in an empty flower vase from one of the cupboards.

The two worked like clockwork, Jared circling around Shane as he went about getting ready to sleep. When Jared finally went to shower, he heard Shane fiddling with the T.V., switching between channels before finally sticking to something just before Jared walked out, draped in a large red shirt and gray sleeping pants.

Shane was in a tank, lower half covered by the large duvet. The screen he was watching flickered with a comedy movie, _Minty Panther and the Heavenly Challice._ Shane's eyes glanced at him, welcoming Jared over to the bed by throwing a corner of the blanket towards the foot of the bed.

The two sat a few feet apart, Shane hugging a pillow in his lap as he drank a glass of water slowly. Jared just sat with his legs ahead of him, crossed at the ankles. Jared was so happy sitting like that, and he realized it was so bitterly domestic it left a taste in his mouth. And it was that thought exactly that sent him into a distracted spiral for the rest of the movie, snapped out only when the T.V. crackled to black.

"You tired?" Shane stared down at him, Jared pulling his legs up quickly.

"Uh, not really. Are you?"

"Nah. It's only 9, I don't usually sleep until late," Shane's mouth pulled into a line, his body creaking as he leaned over to grab his phone from the bedside table. "Oh, here, one second," Shane muttered, legs kicking the blanket away from his body and he quickly raised the phone to his ear, pulling the glass door open. Jared barely heard a "Hey Jirard, what's up?" before the door clicked shut behind his friend.

 _Friend_ felt like such a sour word, something that pinned to Jared's skull the whole day. A few days prior, he would have been ecstatic to hear that from Shane, but now it was bittersweet, gnawing at the schedule he'd written out for Friday evening.

He realized during their sit on the cliff that his plans for Friday were sickeningly romantic. It wasn't something he'd _intended_ , but the thought was still there and yelling in his ear every time Shane so much as looked at him.

Jared let his body sink deep into the mattress, appreciating the soft support of the feathers and padding beneath his spine. His pillow smelled of deodorant and cucumber shampoo, so distinctly like the bottle of shampoo Shane had tossed in the shower. It was a smell Jared _probably_ shouldn't be so aware of, but he wasn't about to admit out loud to not-so-shamelessly smelling it earlier.

Jared wanted to smell it on Shane. It was a strange fantasy, sure, but he knew Shane had smelled his hair earlier more than once. It was just fair, Jared thought, for him to do the same.

…Maybe Jared had some issues.

Ignoring that thought, Jared rolled over in the bed so he was on his stomach, burying his face into the pillow. His hair was stuck to his cheeks and forehead from the heat, the pillow cool against his skin. Shane walked in a few minutes later, the sound of his footsteps making Jared prop himself up to look around.

"Oh, I thought you fell asleep," Shane spoke, unzipping his suitcase with practiced ease. He threw the lid open, lifting something out that he turned in his hands before closing the case back up. He stood up, stretching up on his toes as he tossed something at Jared's back.

Jared fished behind him, bringing a small box of cards up to his face.

"Wanna play like, _Go Fish_ or something?" Shane asked, swinging into the space next to Jared on the mattress. He pulled his legs up to sit butterfly-style, legs sunk into the blanket.

The games were fun, but Jared was pretty awful at it. Shane seemed to have a pattern to it, making Jared feel like he'd win before getting multiple sets in a row to himself.

"Strategy is always," Shane had 'explained', eyes flickering between his hand, Jared's, and the two sets sitting face up on the bed. "Got any 7s?"

Jared passed him the two cards from his hand, letting out a playful, exasperated sigh as Shane flipped up all the 7s in his hand. "You must not like luck games, huh?"

"Don't have very good luck," Shane shrugged, nodding at Jared to make his turn.

"Queens?"

"Go fish."

"Peebs doesn't either, but he still likes luck games," Jared peeled another card from the deck.

Shane let out a single choked laugh. "PBG has a gambling addiction, very big difference. He also jinxes himself every time he opens his mouth," Shane pointed out, dropping his hand to his lap to eye the back of Jared's cards. "Got any 2s?"

"Go fish," Jared said, watching Shane's face to try and get a sign of what he got.

That didn't work. At all.

"He's pretty good at poker though," Shane chuckled, rearranging his deck slowly. "I think he just makes random facial expressions to throw people off. You have no clue what he's thinking."

"You're the opposite," Jared blinked up, flicking a card in his hand aimlessly. "Got any 4s?"

"Ah, fuck you man," Shane sighed, handing over three cards at once. Jared took them with a proud smile. "Don't get cocky."

"Just taking the little victories," Jared smiled, letting the rest of the game continue with mindless chatter and noise. He realized during their last game that he'd managed to get Shane really talking, not expecting Jared to respond aside from small pauses to ask for cards. Shane liked talking about Jirard, which wasn't surprising since Jared knew the two were really close.

He had a sour jealousy stuck in his teeth at the start, listening to Shane rant about his roommate, but he shook himself out of it when he realized everything Shane was saying was purely platonic. Not that Jared really had the _right_ to be jealous. He and Shane weren't dating. Jared didn't control him.

Shane wasn't _his_.

No matter how bad he wanted him to be.

" _Hiking_?" Shane repeated, arms frozen in place as he scooped ice into a short, thick glass. "In this heat?"

"I promise, it's not _that_ far! And there's a reward at the end! Come on, it's really cool," Jared pleaded, standing by the door in his swim trunks and t-shirt, keys dangling off his ring finger.

Shane just sighed, filling his cup with water before taking a large gulp. "Do I need to change out of this?" he gestured to his bathing suit.

"Nope!" Jared chirped, swaying back and forth on his feet. "You can bring your sketchbook too. There's something really pretty on the trail I think you'll like."

Chugging the rest of his water, Shane gave him a short nod, wiping his mouth across the back of his hand. He placed the cup in the sink, quickly grabbing the small sketchbook off the counter. A mechanical pencil was clipped to the spiral edge. "You _promise_ it's not a long hike?"

"Why would I lie?"

" _Fuck you,"_ Shane heaved, leaning his arms against his knees as he swallowed the hot saliva building up under his tongue.

Jared turned to look at him from the top of the hill, wiping the lift sweat on his hands against his shirt. "We're almost there, Shane. Just make it up the hill."

"We've been walking for _hours_."

"It's been 40 minutes."

"40 minutes of _hell_ ," Shane hissed, digging his toes deep into the rocks and roots of the slope to scratch his way up.

Jared just rolled his eyes, hands on his hips. "You can hear it already," Jared nodded behind him, referring to the droning thunder from down the path.

"Can't hear anything over the sound of me _dying_."

"I thought you worked out?"

"Not outside! In the heat!" the boy cried, holding his stomach as he reached to top of the hill, neck rolling back painfully. "How the bloody fuck are you not sweating your ass off?"

Jared shrugged, continuing his walk down the path, ignoring Shane's complaining. The drumming sound grew louder as they walked, the path leveling out into a subtle downward slope as they neared the end of the path. A river cut across the level ground, bridged by wooden panels held up by rope-tied posts. Looking upstream, Jared pointed to their final destination.

"A waterfall?" Shane said, running a hand over the back of his hair.

"We can swim in the pool below it. Not many people know about it," Jared smiled, grabbing Shane by the wrist to tug him off the path along the coast of the river. "We can take a shortcut."

"Thank _fuck_ ," Shane sighed, arm going limp in Jared's grip. "Your hands are sweaty."

Jared scoffed, shifting his hand to grab Shane by the palm. "You're not much better, dumbass," he teased, feeling Shane's hand writhe in his for a moment before going slack again.

Shane's hand was wider than his, but Jared had long enough fingers to get a grip around it. They padded along the rocky path, Jared finding a path easy enough so Shane wouldn't stumble and fall into the moving water to their left.

When they finally made it, Jared was happy to see it completely empty, the only sign of life an abandoned towel slung up into a tree and an empty bottle of sunblock wedged in the rocks. The waterfall was pretty small, meaning it didn't make a lot of noise, especially since the water didn't fall very far, instead weaving its way through a slope of large rocks that emerged from the crystal blue water.

Shane sat in the dirty sand with a huff, falling to his back dramatically. "I'm never walking again."

"Oh shush, come sit in the water," Jared pulled at Shane's arms, only managing to drag him a few inches in the sand before dropping them to the ground. Shane hauled himself to his knees, waddling into the shallows of the water before resuming his former position, body half-submerged. "You're a nerd."

"We're literally in a nerd club," Shane mumbled, letting his legs bob gently along the surface. "You getting in?"

Jared responded by tugging his shirt from over his head, wading into the pool until he was knee deep. Shane's foot drifted to bump him, eliciting a soft smile. "Having fun?"

Shane just hummed, closing his eyes as the water kissed at his shoulders and neck. The sun cut through the sky, blocked out only by Jared's body looming over him. With great care, Shane pushed himself away from the coast, floating away from Jared with small paddles of his hands. "Don't bother saving me, I live here now," Shane joked, waves pushing him in slow circles in the center of the pool.

Jared followed him out, swimming in place when his feet were unable to reach the floor. Shane's shirt fanned out around him, his chest puffed up with we to keep him afloat. Jared grabbed Shane's hand, pulling him so he started spinning in little circles. Shane giggled. "Hurricane Shane," Jared smiled, waiting until Shane's head was facing him to grab him by the cheeks, bringing him to a halt. Shane's was fluttered open.

His eyes looked blue against the water, bluer than Jared was used to. His hands combed slowly through Shane's hair, getting a low, approving noise from the floating boy. Shane affectionately rubbed his head into Jared's hands.

"If I'd known you like massages I would've taken us to a spa," Jared drew circles with his thumb into the skin of Shane's cheeks.

"I like it better when you do it," Shane whispered, legs beginning to sink into the water. His body sank into the water, and Jared watched as he turned to swim around Jared's legs until he could splash up behind him. "Boo," Shane spoke into his ear.

When Jared turned around, he realized Shane was standing on his toes against the rock, arms floating out to his sides. Jared grabbed onto Shane's extended arms for safety, each grabbing onto the other's forearms.

"Thanks, for this," Shane looked over Jared at the waterfall, avoiding Jared's gaze. "This week meant a lot to me."

"How so?"

"I… I didn't really feel like I fit with the club. I didn't think you and some of the other people really wanted me around. I mean, Jirard just kinda… introduced me to the club, I made a logo, and then I just… joined," Shane rolled his shoulder nervously. "So it means a lot you even thought of me."

Jared's hand traced Shane's shoulder and upper arm soothingly. "Hey, don't think like that. You're a part of this club for a reason. Sure, you don't have the same energy as the rest of us, but that doesn't mean we don't care about you," Jared assured him, his hand drifting to press into Shane's neck and jaw. "And maybe they just need more time with you to realize that."

Shane nodded, head tilting into Jared's touch. "You're really nice."

"I try my best," Jared smiled, jumping a bit when Shane grabbed him quickly into a hug. Shane's hands were locked tightly around his waist, holding him up in the water. Jared looped his arms around Shane's neck, letting Shane bury his face into his shoulder. "And I'm glad you came along with me, that you really like, _tried_ to get closer to me instead of locking yourself in the room all day."

Shane's feet started walking backward until he could stand flat against the sandy stone. "I am too," Shane smiled, leaning back to look Jared in the face.

They were so close, and Shane was so aware of that, and he _knew_ Jared was aware of it too. Shane doesn't know what snapped in him, or if it was even him who moved at all, but in the blink of an eye Jared's mouth was on his.

Jared was so soft against him, and without even trying he tasted lip balm and sugar. He had experience, Shane was sure that much, and Jared made sure to prove it.

Shane was big and warm. That was the first thing Jared noticed. His bottom lip was wide and gave him something to anchor on, feet still floating beneath him. Shane kept a tight grip on his waist, fingers clutching to the fabric of his shirt. The taller let Jared take control, hands pressed into his face and hair as he guided Shane's face against his.

Whenever one would pull back, the other chased them, Jared leaning against Shane so much that he pushed him into reverse, and before Jared realized it, his feet were on the ground. Shane gasped as Jared pulled against his hair, giving Jared an opening to explore. He stood on the very end of his toes to get pressure against Shane's lips, and he didn't realize until he finally pulled away for a real pause that he'd barely been breathing at all.

The two stood inches apart, Jared settling onto the flat of his foot for balance. Shane was still holding on to his shirt like he might disappear, Jared letting his hands fall to Shane's chest. He let out a shaky sigh, blinking up to see if Shane had opened his eyes yet.

He was staring at Jared through his lashes, face red and flushed. Shane's mouth glistened, hanging open as he painted through it, and Jared felt a bit of pride that _he did that_.

Shane's mind was racing, but he wasn't upset. Just dazed, watching Jared blink his eyes open. The waterfall had faded into the background, and he could only feel the pressure in his fingers and on his chest and in his _mouth_ and _holy hell that was incredible._

Jared closed his eyes for a moment, trying to process, and he felt Shane press a small, loving kiss to his forehead. He let out a sigh, wrapping his arms around Shane's stomach to press against his body, lips pressed against his jaw. He mumbled something incoherent, that Shane apparently took as a "wow".

The taller ran his hands along Jared's sides as they stood, mostly submerged in the warm water. Shane could tell after a moment that Jared had begun guiding them to the shore, and without a second thought, he hauled Jared's legs up around his waist to carry him the rest of the way.

"Warn me next time," Jared mumbled into Shane's hair, reaching a foot out carefully as Shane placed him back on the floor.

"About what? Carrying you?" he suddenly leaned in, pressing a slow kiss to Jared's lips. "Or that?"

Jared just laughed behind his hands. "Shush," he beamed, hands combing through his still dry hair.

"Haven't seen you this embarrassed before," Shane teased, arm sneaking around Jared's waist so they stood side-by-side.

"Don't think anyone has."

"Well isn't that an honor."

Jared leaned his head against the wet of Shane's shoulder, nuzzling him playfully. "I hadn't planned on being ready to leave this place so soon. Thought we'd be here a while longer."

"We can always just sit and talk?" Shane offered, taking Jared's hand in his. "I think we need to."

Jared smiled, bringing Shane's knuckles up to his mouth. "I'd love to."

They didn't really talk all that much.

Shane was a pretty good cuddler. Jared fell asleep pretty fast.

The train ride home was much better than the ride there. Not only was it less awkward (well, for Jared and Shane at least. The old lady in their compartment probably didn't like their cooing, but they didn't realize that until she switched compartments), but the whole process was much smoother.

Jared bought Shane lunch on the train, something he'd apparently offered on the way down, but Shane was too focused on the window to notice. They had time to make plans, like when they'd get together or the upcoming end-of-school dance.

Jared wanted to keep it all on the down-low, just for a while. They'd tell the guys once they'd gotten more used to all the calamity, and they had to make sure Jared's mom didn't find out.

On the way off the train, Shane grabbed Jared by the hand. He asked him to be his boyfriend.

Unsurprisingly, Jared said yes.

Shane called and told his mom on the walk home. Jared got to talk to her too. She was a sweet lady, really accepting of Shane.

Jared gave Shane a little kiss on the cheek before they got too close to campus. Which, apparently, wasn't enough for him, since he leaned over to give Jared a swift peck on the lips.

The only fear Jared had left was that they'd get caught because Shane couldn't stop smiling.

But, if he was being real, neither could he.


End file.
